imissyouverybig

and you are back to your place. yes, your place. yes, the place you call your own without ever pertaining to the legalities and documented rights.  yes, the place your heart never ceases to recognize, the place that always abates your mind’s unwarranted uproarings.

but what it once had been untarnished performance was multiple times slaughtered tonight.  because for the hundredth time that you tried to seek solace in its bosom, it also for the hundredth time failed you. every try breaks your heart even more than the last time.

after some more futile attempts, you gave up.  you got up and turned your back from the water that always witness your teary cheeks. you got up and turned your ears deaf from the once-soothing sound of waves spanking the rocks at the side of the street.  you got up and turned your eyes closed on the playful bright lights of the streetlamps. you got up and started to trek your way towards the dormitory.  you got up and you gave up.

you finally discovered how tremendously you are aching that no world’s wonder can abate it. because no other presence you are craving than his.

Moved Out.

Not updating this site anymore. Too cluttered and too heavy with wasted and too personal emotions, I just can’t bear to write more. It simply is weighing me down. This will continue to house my past though.

Friends, go here instead for a view of a better version of my thoughts

For Starters

There was a time when doing bulletin surveys was the fad. Everyone would answer one, two or more, depending on the level of boredom and procrastination powers. They’d reveal what they ate this morning, the color of their undies and who their last sex was. It was interesting, really, if you want to know how absurd some of your friends really are (but you probably already know that. Why, you are friends with them)

And because I cannot for the life of me write a decent post, let me warm myself up for the next ten working days with this:

Day 1 – Ten things you want to say to ten different people.

Day 2 – Nine things about yourself.

Day 3 – Eight different ways to win your heart.

Day 4 – Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day 5 – Six things you wish you’ve never done.

Day 6 – Five people that mean a lot to you.

Day 7 – Four turn offs.

Day 8 – Three turn ons.

Day 9 – Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day 10 – One confession.

I hope to get this done. Interestingly.

I am back. At least I try to be.

I just came back from the Sinulog trip with my officekada. It was fun as fun could possibly get. It was my first experience and I would’ve wanted to document it through a decent blog post. But I am having such a hard time crafting one after three months of not touching this blog. I am seriously bothered by this incapability now. Lately, it seems that the only thing I am good writing about are my rants and whines. Like now. My hands are on a whirl as I type this jibberjabber of a rant but a while ago when I was trying my hand on the Cebu post, I would stop to think of words and phrases every effin second.

But I’d still give it a try. I challenge myself to come up with at least a half decent blog post and I swear it will be up soon or I will kill myself trying.

A photo of us to inspire meh:

Circle of friendship, Cebu version

Is Cami still Cami?

Am I the same person? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

So I listed down some things to help me decide:

* I have a tattoo on my right wrist, a tattoo that encapsulates my life, only it is written in an angle that not most people would understand: No one can get me

* I still work in the same company. I am with this group since I left the university and I don’t see myself leaving them anytime soon. I love them and I wish they already realized they have no other choice but to love me.

* I cut my hair short. It ends at the middle of my nape. But it’s nothing compared to what I did next -

* I had it treated to fall straight. Bye curls I so loved.

* I have teeth brackets on. Dinosaur teeth no more.

* I am no longer in love with my first love. That says too much!

* I am now with somebody else who for the life of me, I can’t say whether my situation become better or worse. It is THAT complicated.

* But at least he puts effort on making me happy. Every now and then – at least.

* And he tells me he loves me. And he’s happy being with me. And he makes plans on bringing me to places. And says maybe I am the mom of his adorably cutecutecute baby. LOLWUT?! But that made me kileeg, siryusli.

* I still love chocolates. In fact, I am craving one right now.

* I haven’t read so much books lately.

* But I started watching animes, tv series, and movies.

So… do you think I am still the same person?

I very well think I am. Them move and them actions, they are very much Cami-like.

Breaking in.

I have been dodging my need to write a decent post, one that at least will have me thinking and splurting a thousand words. This laziness is awesome but I know that at one point or anther, I’d have to go back here again and do things that I do, which actually is just to rant, vent and whine. Sometime last week I bought myself a book of brain quizzes, one that really does involve using the brains, and it saddened the hell out of me that I only got the average rating. The Eff with my mathematical skills and analytic rustiness. I really need to be more acquainted with the Mensa books and try to at least get half of my old sharpness back. Said so, I’d never want to lose my writing ~*~skillz~*~ as well, thus I am vandalizing my blog again.

You know that rusty feeling you have when you try riding a bicycle again after years of neglecting it in the basement? That’s exactly how this is. But as they say, once you learned it, you’ll never un-. So I guess I’ll have to deal with unintelligible ramblings once again until I get back on the wheels with confidence.