the ex’s ex.
man, this is the most inappropriate feeling i ever had since the ryan-thing. i opened my friendster account and as old habits are hard to die, i looked immediately at the ‘who’s viewed me?’ section. vanity? well, partly yes. but mainly, i just want to check if somebody interesting visited my site. then i saw her. she was on the top of the list and i was sure i had never seen her yet so opened her account. the name said “camille”. just camille. so i thought she was just curious to meet a girl with the same name as she is. i was still pretty ok then. then i saw it. she’s henry’s friend. BOOM!
i remembered those days when henry and i were still talking nonstop [through texting, of course]. it was then when he told me that he had a girl and they just broke up months before we had communication again. he was pretty [what, "proud"? not the right term. uhm," sure"?] uhm… well, i felt he really intended to let me know that her name is same as mine. mind, i was not interested to know who she is. i didn’t even asked for the name. so when i saw that she’s camille and she’s his friend, i had a strong hunch that it was her. one way to know for sure is to read the testimonials. sadly, there are no testimonials that directly confirms my hunch. this is what i found.
from henry:
few things bout her!
1. if u want to know her… let her borrow ur battery…
2.wag n wag kng mkkpgpustahan s knya cause im sure kaw ang lging talo khit anung mngyari!!!=>
3.if you ask her of somting… im sure ang ssbihin nya “alm ko n yan!!!” pwu da trut is…d nya tlga alm un…
4.always remind her of somting kc meron cyang memory gap…hahaha…(glit n yan…=P)
5.always prepare money if llbas kau kc khit isang kusing d m cya mppgastos…hahaha
6.always on tym… dapat smsunod k s tym ng relo nyang advnce… hay…=>
7.somtyms shes mean kya kelngan mo mgpsensya… ( hahaha… prehas lng nmn taung mean eh!!!)
8.if llbas kau be sure my tpang kang harapin ang dad nya!!!
9.ihanda m n ung muka mo if bumnat k ng juks, bgla nlng yan mnnmpal s sbrang tuwa… promis!!!
10. she always hav txtm8s… d sya nwwlan as in!!!(naaawa n nga aq s celfon nya eh…lging fultym)
And last! always make her laugh… iba ung filing if u c her laugh… its lyk a treasure…
and this from camille
july 29
..and it continues to rain tonight,
one of the darkest nights of my life,
I heard him crying on the other line,
as he tried to keep our love alive..
Hearing him hurting tears my heart apart,
wanted to run to him
but i was lost in the dark..
I am drowning in confusion,
doubts and ‘honest lies’..
I just want us to be less than lovers,
for a while, for a time..
I just need to find the aswers to my questions,
just need to be alone this time..
Twosnt my intention to hurt you,
but you’re hurting now,
Wanted this to be fast and simple
but my eyes cry like there’ no tomorrow..
He has the strength to carry the world on his shoulders,
he can heal his wounds with his power,
So why does my Superman cry now,
how could he be weak and vulnerable?
It puts me to tears to realize,
that my superman is just like any other man,
..with feelings, with a heart, with eyes that cry.
well, none of those two says anything but i am pretty sure it was her. there were other posts from camille saying how sad she was to hurt her “superman’s” feelings. man, have i ever told you how my hunches always turn out correct? about 98 percent. tsktsk.
more info about her. she studies in PUP. a dean’s lister and a writer. pretty intelligent [but not yet good enough. i am still better. bitter, man.] she writes poems. she makes me remember those days in japan when henry and i were having our moments. and the fact that he was quite fascinated with my use of English language, esp in writing poems. [i sooo loved writing poems then. i must had written an average of three poems a day.] i even entertained the thought that camille reminds him of me for about five seconds. i immediately shoved that presumptuous thought out of my head. she was crowned “hiyas ng san pedro”. apparently, people find her too pretty.
i am actually wondering now why had she looked at my profile? i am not in any way dear to him. why? why? it is not a big deal but why?
argh! i am feeling bad that i am feeling bad about her. so what if she was his girl? i must not care because it is now over and he’s not mine, anyway. but apparently, my heart cares. it irks me but what can i do?
V-day is getting nearer and he is no way near to me.
